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Freq
February 15, 2007, 07:46:57 PM - ORIGINAL POST -

So some dudes had a lady to swoon over for V-day. Others did not. Many of us try to get a lady, but are met with "UR DOING IT WRONG!!" and "epic fail". Some words of wisdom from the lady-types would be much appreciated.
 
zeppy_gorrila
Read February 19, 2007, 02:00:08 AM #76

bemani gurlz succ
 
Arkaaito
Read February 19, 2007, 08:59:21 PM #77

Quote from: "OneMoreLaurvely"
Quote
They're too busy laughing at us to invite anyone else  


I don't know how many other females here I speak for, but my problem is that anyone else I'd invite here would be, well, a guy. I don't actually have many female friends (with the exception of ones who I met through Bemani.)

Ditto. :?

I dunno... I think many women see men as being predators and thus feel uncomfortable being surrounded by them.  As simplistic and frustrating as this view is, I've heard it expressed by several of my female colleagues (as I work in a woman-poor field).  Their (hopefully skewed) experience has taught them that sex is omnipresent in such an environment, and that going into that environment with hopes of accomplishing anything other than being a sex object is asking for it.

I mean, I hate to be blunt, but my companion looked over my shoulder, pointed to BBH's custom title, and went, "WHY do they not understand why there aren't any girls here?"  Considering that my companion is male, this says a lot. Tongue
 
ChilliumBromide
Read February 19, 2007, 11:26:31 PM #78

Sorry to overuse, but. . .

Geeky chicks are few and far between.
 
CSBrokaw
Read February 19, 2007, 11:36:43 PM #79

There's a difference between girls who wear glasses and geeky girls...and they're both good to me!
 
ChilliumBromide
Read February 19, 2007, 11:39:22 PM #80

Quote from: "CSBrokaw"
There's a difference between girls who wear glasses and geeky girls...and they're both good to me!
Actually, that's from the Webcomic "Girly" (by Josh Lesnik), and I'm citing the boys' reaction to seeing a hot girl in an arcade.
 
Arkaaito
Read February 20, 2007, 02:38:36 PM #81

It's been a while since I've read Girly.  I should go do that.

HOLY shit, he's putting out comic books now?  :shock:
 
zeppy_gorrila
Read February 20, 2007, 04:54:15 PM #82

Quote from: "Arkaaito"


I mean, I hate to be blunt, but my companion looked over my shoulder, pointed to BBH's custom title, and went, "WHY do they not understand why there aren't any girls here?"  Considering that my companion is male, this says a lot. Tongue

Making judgements about people's personas over the internet is a great idea!
 
ChilliumBromide
Read February 20, 2007, 11:56:30 PM #83

Quote from: "zeppy_gorrila"
Quote from: "Arkaaito"


I mean, I hate to be blunt, but my companion looked over my shoulder, pointed to BBH's custom title, and went, "WHY do they not understand why there aren't any girls here?"  Considering that my companion is male, this says a lot. Tongue

Making judgements about people's personas over the internet is a great idea!
How many girls do you know who are into PENIS BUTTER? ;P

@ Ark: I have it on my linkbar. xP
 
phylicia
Read February 21, 2007, 12:14:50 AM #84

I don't see comments like "PENIS BUTTER" being bery girl-friendly. I think PENIS BUTTER is cool because I'm weird/have odd sense of humor and I'm more like you guys or something, but I'm sure I don't speak for many girls.

And yeah I have few chick friends, the only ones who might be interested wouldn't find themselves at home here. This forum seems to be a place for really experienced/pro players, which I feel is a problem if you want more people to join.
 
zeppy_gorrila
Read February 21, 2007, 12:24:53 AM #85

Oh well, I think if someone would judge me so quickly then they really aren't worth my time.
 
BBH
Read February 21, 2007, 12:31:42 AM #86

hahahahahahahahahahahaha what the fuck is up with this thread
 
KevinDDR
Read February 21, 2007, 12:32:42 AM #87

Quick, thread hijack gogogo!
 
BBH
Read February 21, 2007, 12:33:59 AM #88

Quote from: "KevinDDR"
Quick, thread hijack gogogo!


no, I'm sure a hijack around here "wouldn't have any redeeming value"
 
tada
Read February 21, 2007, 12:37:16 AM #89

Quote from: "BBH"
Quote from: "KevinDDR"
Quick, thread hijack gogogo!


no, I'm sure a hijack around here "wouldn't have any redeeming value"


Sad.  I knew this was coming.
 
zeppy_gorrila
Read February 21, 2007, 12:45:52 AM #90

perhaps omnibus combo next peripheral?
 
AlphaConqerer
Read February 21, 2007, 02:13:45 AM #91

Quote from: "tada"
Quote from: "BBH"
Quote from: "KevinDDR"
Quick, thread hijack gogogo!


no, I'm sure a hijack around here "wouldn't have any redeeming value"


Sad.  I knew this was coming.


Personally, though I know this forum is for off-topic business,  there are limits, and I support Tada's actions against hijacks.

That said, I'm thinking this thread has run it's course and refreshed all the assumptions about women vs. nerd boys that we already knew.
 
BBH
Read February 21, 2007, 03:03:05 AM #92

Quote from: "AlphaConqerer"

Personally, though I know this forum is for off-topic business,  there are limits, and I support Tada's actions against hijacks.


Apparently, it's like the [cliched] title of this forum. This entire message board is SERIOUS FUCKING BUSINESS.
 
Arkaaito
Read February 21, 2007, 07:55:28 AM #93

Quote from: "zeppy_gorrila"
Oh well, I think if someone would judge me so quickly then they really aren't worth my time.

Wow, talk about your self-righteous whining.  :shock:

Do you seriously believe this?  I.e., that it's somehow shallow to see random references to sex, mostly more or less crude sexual jokes in folks' avatars/sigs/titles, and conclude (on a personal basis, mind) that this is probably a more sexualized environment than one is comfortable in?

Re: thread hijacking - this thread?  Oh, wait, yeah, I guess it was originally romantic advice.  This should probably be my exit cue. Tongue
 
Laura
Read February 21, 2007, 09:04:23 AM #94

Quote
Do you seriously believe this? I.e., that it's somehow shallow to see random references to sex, mostly more or less crude sexual jokes in folks' avatars/sigs/titles, and conclude (on a personal basis, mind) that this is probably a more sexualized environment than one is comfortable in?


I don't know if he does, but I do. People make sex jokes. We're human. The fact is, though, that if any of these people were reaaaally that predatory, they'd probably be out  raping girls instead of making posts to the internet about video games. There ARE girls on this forum, and we've been fine so far (after spending a decent chunk of time with these men), so I do think it's safe to assume that other women will be fine in the future.

Then again, I also fail to understand girls who are offended or uncomfortable with a comment like PENIS BUTTER (which isn't even 'crude' so much as 'entirely random') for any reason other than "That joke is sort of dumb and could be a lot funnier". These are the same women who complain of sexual harassment when some guy makes a blonde joke at work, by the way, even though those kinds of jokes (as well as ones about men!) would pretty much get thrown around all the time if they weren't there. Basically, women are too uppity. Tongue
 
zeppy_gorrila
Read February 21, 2007, 11:56:24 AM #95

Quote from: "Arkaaito"
Quote from: "zeppy_gorrila"
Oh well, I think if someone would judge me so quickly then they really aren't worth my time.

Wow, talk about your self-righteous whining.  :shock:

Do you seriously believe this?  I.e., that it's somehow shallow to see random references to sex, mostly more or less crude sexual jokes in folks' avatars/sigs/titles, and conclude (on a personal basis, mind) that this is probably a more sexualized environment than one is comfortable in?
hehe only half believe it. If you haven't noticed, I like arguments. Yeah, Laura's post sums it up. I can go on for a couple of hours about why men should fear women (I have before), but instead I'm just going to say both extremes of each gender are crazy, but those are always the voices you hear most in the media, etc. I mean how many times do you hear "NEWS FLASH: GREAT GUY HELPS LADY WITH GROCERIES"? Men are for the most part not the sex craved animals women can paint us to be, but if we joke about it, they might start making assumptions. Sad, eh? If anything, an asperger's thread will scare people away because they will think we're some mental health group.
edit: p.s. I haven't seen a truly degrading post / sig. Not like Penis lol but like "if u wanna c a bookwurm bitch git her faece blown wit cum clik dis link". In comparison to other rhythm boards, we are very mature. Name a bemani board that is more serious than ours? If anything, it needs to be a little more silly here if anything. Not saying it should, but saying too much seiousness will kill a sense of community.
 
Arkaaito
Read February 21, 2007, 12:30:37 PM #96

Zeppy: Yeah, I started to end my reply with "...or are you just trying to start another friendly flame war?", but decided that came off as an insult.  So I took it out.

Anyway, though, if you *do* half-believe it: I think you're missing an important distinction between "OMG I'm offended" and "if this is representative of this forum, better safe than sorry."  It would be unreasonable to, say, believe that people on PNW are rapists-waiting-to-happen because they talk about sex a lot.  OTOH, it's not unreasonable to assume that sex is a major point of concern if that's the first thing you notice.  From what I've seen that's incorrect, but do we all have some kind of moral obligation to spend x hours on any internet forum we stumble across before deciding whether to stay or not?  Hell no.

You seem to infer some kind of absolute judgment from the idea of a woman saying, "Yeah, too sexy for me."  But you don't have to believe an entire forum is somehow evil to believe that you don't belong there and/or it's not worth your time.  Heck, you don't even have to believe that there's something wrong with crude jokes per se - just that they usually correlate with sex-obsession and that's not something you're looking for from the internet.  Yet you're (Zeppy) taking this snap judgment and turning it into something personal.

This is probably my fault because I brought up (most, many) women feeling uncomfortable surrounded by men, seeing men as threatening, etc.  I mentioned this because it *IS* a factor in the average woman's psychology in my decidedly non-professional opinion, and because it *IS* something I've heard other women cite in the past in conjunction with Bemani/arcade crowds.  But it's by no means required.

Quote from: "OneMoreLaurvely"
These are the same women who complain of sexual harassment when some guy makes a blonde joke at work, by the way...

Interesting analogy, but I think it's more like the women who quietly walk away when guys start making blonde jokes at work.  After all, it's not like we have hordes of women posting here saying "OMG, change your ____" or something.  Unless I just haven't been around long enough to notice them.  Tongue
 
zeppy_gorrila
Read February 21, 2007, 12:49:45 PM #97

Quote from: "Arkaaito"
Zeppy: Yeah, I started to end my reply with "...or are you just trying to start another friendly flame war?", but decided that came off as an insult.  So I took it out.

Anyway, though, if you *do* half-believe it: I think you're missing an important distinction between "OMG I'm offended" and "if this is representative of this forum, better safe than sorry."  It would be unreasonable to, say, believe that people on PNW are rapists-waiting-to-happen because they talk about sex a lot.  OTOH, it's not unreasonable to assume that sex is a major point of concern if that's the first thing you notice.  From what I've seen that's incorrect, but do we all have some kind of moral obligation to spend x hours on any internet forum we stumble across before deciding whether to stay or not?  Hell no.

You seem to infer some kind of absolute judgment from the idea of a woman saying, "Yeah, too sexy for me."  But you don't have to believe an entire forum is somehow evil to believe that you don't belong there and/or it's not worth your time.  Heck, you don't even have to believe that there's something wrong with crude jokes per se - just that they usually correlate with sex-obsession and that's not something you're looking for from the internet.  Yet you're (Zeppy) taking this snap judgment and turning it into something personal.

 I think humour and inside jokes have always been a part of the community. I dunno, I think they can be fun. I don't think things have gotten too racy on these boards. We aren't like the ITG freak gen. disc. I do think there is a semi-clear boundary that must be drawn, but innocent things like "PENIS" "VAGINA" only reflect the poster's views, not the whole community. It's when the community is defined by those behaviors that it becomes a problem. And I don't think most of our deepest perversions are ever going to be discussed on this board. We aren't a community based around sexual peference (furry boards) or around a lack of sex life (FFR, every other bemani/internet board), so just don't sweat the small stuff.
 
Laura
Read February 21, 2007, 02:18:07 PM #98

Quote
I brought up (most, many) women feeling uncomfortable surrounded by men, seeing men as threatening, etc. I mentioned this because it *IS* a factor in the average woman's psychology in my decidedly non-professional opinion


Maybe my viewpoints come from the fact that I have never felt this way in the slightest, nor has any female I've ever spent time with (then again, I've been close to maybe three girls, ever, over the course of my life, whereas I've had about ten or fifteen close male friends).

I guess that's just the way averages work, though... there's always gotta be a few oddballs.
 
Arkaaito
Read February 21, 2007, 04:08:07 PM #99

Quote from: "zeppy_gorrila"
I think humour and inside jokes have always been a part of the community. I dunno, I think they can be fun. I don't think things have gotten too racy on these boards. We aren't like the ITG freak gen. disc. I do think there is a semi-clear boundary that must be drawn, but innocent things like "PENIS" "VAGINA" only reflect the poster's views, not the whole community. It's when the community is defined by those behaviors that it becomes a problem. And I don't think most of our deepest perversions are ever going to be discussed on this board. We aren't a community based around sexual peference (furry boards) or around a lack of sex life (FFR, every other bemani/internet board), so just don't sweat the small stuff.

Yeah, I understand, and I even agree with you (well - mostly).  But the sad fact of the world is that we can do nothing wrong and *still* drive people away because of something we're doing "right."

Quote from: "OneMoreLaurvely"
Maybe my viewpoints come from the fact that I have never felt this way in the slightest, nor has any female I've ever spent time with (then again, I've been close to maybe three girls, ever, over the course of my life, whereas I've had about ten or fifteen close male friends).

I guess that's just the way averages work, though... there's always gotta be a few oddballs.

Unfortunately, both of us are probably too statistically anomalous for either of our experiences to be enlightening (even as much as experiences normally are - which is to say, not very).  I will, however, say that our experiences at least disagree, and I hope you'll humor me as I describe exactly how.

Right now I'm finishing out a term at a science / engineering school whose student body is about 20% female.  (Among administrators it's more like 40%; among faculty, 5-10%.)  They have a level of rape and assault that's anywhere from nonexistent to quite modest, depending on who you ask, and none gets reported to the police (so it's surely pretty low).  Among the female faculty condemnation of anything resembling rape is pretty unanimous.  Among the female students, however, I've been shocked to find that many women have the attitude "Well, you have to expect that there are going to be some problems, just because this is barely a co-ed school."  When someone discusses a bad experience, up to and including rape, they're met with a whole spectrum of reactions, from the incredibly supportive to the "Well, you ought to have a thicker skin if you're going to be here."

More to the subject of the conversation, I've had more than one female undergrad tell me that they avoid parties and certain social situations because they think it's what they need to do to protect themselves from assault - that if you charge into a club full of male engineering students and expect them to behave, you're just being stupid or "asking for it."  And I've also known multiple sets of female students who agree to join previously-male student groups in pairs - presumably not because they fear physical assault, but it would seem to indicate discomfort on some level.

That said, the people who are inclined to talk about these things at all, especially to me, are going to be the ones who are either (1) my close friends, who are mostly not students, or (2) especially peeved and/or passionate about the situation, so YMMV.

It's also worth noting that I'm in the Midwest, and I've come to the tentative conclusion that the Midwest in general is slightly warped.  Like a parallel universe, only less cool.  :wink:

Edit: I think this is my last post on this subject - it's too depressing.  (And anyone who shares my experiences will be similarly depressed, while everyone else will just be freaked out.)
 
zeppy_gorrila
Read February 21, 2007, 04:17:18 PM #100

Quote from: "Arkaaito"
Quote from: "zeppy_gorrila"
I think humour and inside jokes have always been a part of the community. I dunno, I think they can be fun. I don't think things have gotten too racy on these boards. We aren't like the ITG freak gen. disc. I do think there is a semi-clear boundary that must be drawn, but innocent things like "PENIS" "VAGINA" only reflect the poster's views, not the whole community. It's when the community is defined by those behaviors that it becomes a problem. And I don't think most of our deepest perversions are ever going to be discussed on this board. We aren't a community based around sexual peference (furry boards) or around a lack of sex life (FFR, every other bemani/internet board), so just don't sweat the small stuff.

Yeah, I understand, and I even agree with you (well - mostly).  But the sad fact of the world is that we can do nothing wrong and *still* drive people away because of something we're doing "right."

Yeah, it sucks just because we have a PENIS we have to automatically be suspect. I think the idea of what "real men" are is protrayed otherwise, so I see where you're coming from unfortunately. I wish the "real men" we'd see are community leaders, scholars, social wokers, teachers and such. I'm striving to do good, and I think the more guys who strive to be socially aware / involved people will begin to see a more positive stereotype about men. I'm tired of being thrown in the same category as "guys". If I ever have it my way, the "American Male" will be something to be proud of, not to cower and be ashamed of.
 
 
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